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Nick Peron

Welcome to the website of comedian Nick Peron. It is the ground zero of his comedic writing.

Dark Avengers #5

Dark Avengers #5

Now

After the outlaw Avenger named Ronin called out Norman Osborn’s criminal past, Norman has set up an in-person interview with reporter Shannon Queller to do damage control.[1] After preparations are underway, Osborn starts answering the questions by saying that the divisive and fractured country needs to find unity following the civil war and death of Captain America.[2] He spins a pretty good speech about representing the public good and talks about how he works to make the world a better place with his new team of Avengers…

Six Hours Ago

The Dark Avengers were just returning from their first mission of protecting Doctor Doom from Morgan le Fay. Believing the Sentry (Bob Reynolds) was killed in battle, they were shocked to discover him alive and well and waiting for them back at Avengers Tower in New York.[3] Unsure what Bob’s mental state is the Iron Patriot (Osborn) approaches him and makes sure that the Sentry isn’t becoming his evil counterpart, the Void.[4] He reminds Bob that there is no Void and when Reynolds tries to comprehend his death and seeming resurrection, Norman tells him that he did not die. When they both see Bob’s wife, Lindy looking at them from the Sentry’s Watchtower, Norman suggests he go to her and relax. The Sentry complies with this order.

The entire exchange is watched with growing tension by the rest of the team — Ms. Marvel (Karla Sofen), Hawkeye (actually the assassin Bullseye in disguise), Spider-Man (actually Mac Gargan and the Venom symbiot), Wolverine (secretly his son Daken), Captain Marvel (Noh-Varr), and Ares. They breath a sigh of relief when the Sentry heads back inside their base.

Now

Shannon moves onto the accusations made by Clint Barton the day before. She plays the clip which accuses Osborn of being a violent psychopathic killer, and warns that he now has too much power as the head of national security. This leads to a direct question about Osborn’s alleged past as the Green Goblin. Osborn fakes being remorseful and doesn’t deny his criminal past. However, he insists that he is a cured man, and says that a lot of the recent sightings of the Green Goblin were not himself, but someone else who co-opted his identity.[5] He assures the audience that he is fully cured and has the backing of Nobel Prize winning psychologists to back him up.

Five Hours Ago

Once the Dark Avengers are back inside Avengers Tower, Victoria Hand — Norman’s second-in-command — orders everyone to line up and take their medications. This is when Venom accuses Bullseye of threatening to kill him after the battle with Morgan le Fay. Bullseye tries to deny it and they start to argue. This leads to Ares to chastise them for acting less than noble and slaps Bullseye across the face. Assured that had he done more, the assassin would be a broken man, Bullseye drops the subject and takes his pill.

Now

Osborn then pivots from his criminal past and attacks Clint Barton’s credibility. He reminds Queller how Clint — as Hawkeye — was previously a criminal before he joined up with the Avengers. He also points out he joined with the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver, who were both mutant terrorists at the time. Clint was given the opportunity to redeem himself and prove that he was a hero, why should Norman not get the opportunity to do the same? He then tells Shannon that he even offered Barton a position working in the Initiative and was flatly turned down.

Reflecting on Barton’s career as a superhero, Norman thinks of how Clint saw the downfall of many of his friends including Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor. He wonders how such trauma and loss can affect a man and push him into becoming an outlaw. He finds it sad to see such a celebrated hero fall so far and says he wishes to help Barton out. Then, in a coupe de grace, Osborn tells the listening audience that he will pray to God to get his second chance and silently reflects with his hands clasped together.[6]

Three Hours Ago

Ares returns to his apartment in the Bronx and looks around for his son Alexander. He finds that the place has been empty for a while. Going through his mail, he finds truancy notices from Alex’s school and realizes that the boy has been gone for a while. This makes the Olympian furious.[7]

Now

Shannon Queller’s next question is regarding the true identity of his new team of Avengers.[8] Norman says that their true identities are classified and assures her that they are all dedicated heroes that have been sworn to protect.

At that moment, back at Avengers Tower, Noh-Varr is walking past Karla’s room. She opens the door and invites him in seductively. As Noh enters her room, the two are observed by Bullseye who watches them suspiciously.

Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, a couple is leaving a trendy night club. As the man complains about his job, a valet gets his car. That’s when they are all sprayed by water. When they look to see what the source is, they are horrified to see that the city is under attack by Atlantean warrirors.

Back at Avengers Tower, Karla and Noh-Varr have finished having sex. This is the first time the Kree warrior has had relations with an Earth woman. Nonchalant about the whole experience, Karla suddenly remembers that their boss is giving an interview and turns on the TV in her room so she can see how he spins it in his favor. However, just as things are getting interested, the interview is interrupted with breaking new about the Atlantean attack in Los Angeles. When Norman hears about it, he gets on the form and orders Victoria to wake up the Avengers and get them ready to mobilize right away.

Recurring Characters

Dark Avengers (Iron Patriot, Ms. Marvel, Hawkeye, Spider-Man, Wolverine, Captain Marvel, Ares, Sentry), Victoria Hand, Lindy Lee, Atlanteans

Continuity Notes

  1. Ronin called out Osborn on live television in New Avengers #51.

  2. The war he is talking abut was over the Super Human Registration Act (SHRA) which required superheroes to register with the government. This split the community in half, with one each side fighting for or against the SHRA, as seen in Civil War #1-7. Captain America was against registration and he surrendered when it became apparent that the public supported the SHRA. This led him right into an assassin’s bullet in Captain America (vol. 5) #25. However, what people don’t know is that Cap was shot with a chronal bullet and is currently living his life in a time loop. He will be freed from this purgatory in Captain America: Reborn #1-6.

  3. This happened over the last four issues, where were you?

  4. The Sentry has a past history of addiction and abuse, the trauma of which manifests as the Void, his exact opposite. See Sentry/The Void #1, New Avengers #7-10, and Sentry (vol. 2) #1-8.

  5. Norman Osborn’s legacy of the Green Goblin is a long and storied on with many complex twists and turns. But the brass tacks about his situation at the time of this story are as follows:

    • We’ll later learn that, many years earlier, Osborn made a deal with Mephisto to become rich and successful, as revealed in Amazing Spider-Man (vol. 5) #72. This came at a heavy price, including his own sanity when his original Goblin Formula blew up in his face, as told in Amazing Spider-Man #40. He has been active as the Green Goblin as far back as Amazing Spider-Man #14.

    • In more recent times, Osborn began undergoing treatment starting in Thunderbolts #110 so he can at least project the appearance of sanity. He managed to use his position as director of the Thunderbolts to make himself a hero to the world when he killed the leader of a Skrull invasion of Earth in Secret Invasion #8. This landed him his current role as Director of National Security, a position he will hold until Siege #4.

    • In order to distance himself from some of his recent dalliances in his Goblin costume (specifically Thunderbolts #116-121) he had one of his operatives, the Headman, attack him and the President of the United States while disguised as the Green Goblin as seen in Thunderbolts #129.

  6. There is a lot of things that are touched on here by Norman, so here we go with a huge exposition dump:

    • When Clint Barton got his start as the archer known as Hawkeye, he was mistaken for a jewelry thief and chased away by the cops. This allowed the Black Widow to seduce him into helping her out with acts of espionage. See Tales of Suspense #57.

    • Eventually, Hawkeye sought to redeem himself and convinced the Avengers to let him join alongside the Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. That happened in Avengers #16.

    • Previously, Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch were members of Magneto’s Brotherhood of Evil Mutants starting in X-Men #4. However, it has since been learned that they were never mutants to begin with. In reality, their powers came from experiments conducted on them by the High Evolutionary when they were babies. To cover up his work, he made it so future DNA tests would have the twins register as mutants. See Uncanny Avengers (vol. 2) #4-5.

    • Osborn’s claim that he offered Hawkeye a spot in the Initiative is spin on the truth. Norman had the audacity of attending the funeral for the Wasp (who had seemingly died during the Skrull invasion). When told Clint that he isn’t considered an Avenger unless he joined the Initiative, as seen in Mighty Avengers #20. Clint has been an outlaw member of the New Avengers since New Avengers #27.

    • Osborn mentions the downfall of the Avengers trinity. Tony Stark’s fall from grace is referring to how Stark was made a scapegoat for the Skrull invasion. He has been on the run from the law since, as seen in Invincible Iron Man #8-19. We already over what Cap’s situation. Thor, was dead for a while, having perished during the final Ragnarok in Thor (vol. 2) #80-85, has has since been resurrected as seen in Thor (vol. 3) #1.

    • Norman also mentions how Clint has been through death himself. This is in reference to how he sacrificed his life when the Scarlet Witch went mad and attacked her fellow Avengers, as seen in Avengers #502. Later, Clint was resurrected by the Witch during a reality warp, as we saw in House of M #1-8 and New Avengers #26.

    • We see an image with Hawkeye standing next to Mockingbird. This is probably shown to reference their marriage (Hawkeye #4). As Osborn is talking about near deaths when this image is shown, he could be referring to how Mockingbird was seemingly killed in Avengers West Coast #100. In reality, she had been replaced with a Skrull infiltrator circa Avengers West Coast #91, as was revealed in New Avengers: The Reunion #2.

    • We also see an image of Clint Barton as Goliath, a role he has held twice from Avengers #63-98 and Avengers West Coast #90-97.

  7. Alex is the recent offspring of Ares and a mortal woman, as seen in Ares #1. The boy was recruited into Nick Fury’s Secret Warriors in Mighty Avengers #13 as part of Fury’s contingency plan to fight back against Skrull invasion.

  8. Here we see a clip of when Norman unveiled his new team in Dark Avengers #1.

Topical References

  • When hearing Osborn talking down the Sentry, Venom quips “There is no Dana. Only Zuul”, this is a line from the 1984 film Ghostbusters, a movie about paranormal investigators defending New York City from ghosts. One of the Ghostbusters, Peter Vankman (played by Bill Murray)’s love interest Dana Barret (played by Sigourney Weaver) is possessed by a demonic entity called Zuul. She utters this line when he speaks her name. This could be considered a topical reference as you could replace the line with one from a more contemporary film wherein someone is possessed and has another entity speaking through them.

  • Alexander is depicted as having a CRT model television in his bedroom. This should be considered a topical reference as this is now an obsolete technology.

Dark Avengers #4

Dark Avengers #4

Dark Avengers #6

Dark Avengers #6